tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-69551500813578929702011-11-27T16:31:28.603-08:00lisa q.http://www.blogger.com/profile/16685625884419877570noreply@blogger.comBlogger11100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955150081357892970.post-2212646526821495712007-05-15T19:25:00.000-07:002007-05-15T19:48:00.728-07:00BOYFRIEND APPLICATION<br /><br />Name (First, Middle, and Last please!) <br />______________________________________________<br /><br />Birthdate __________________ <br />Zodiac Sign __________________<br />Occupation __________________________________________________________<br /><br />Long Term Goals: ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________<br /><br />Have you ever been married? __ Yes __ No<br />If yes, why did you divorce? ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________<br /><br />(If you are still married, please discard this application immediately.)<br /><br />Name and phone number of your ex-wife ____________________________________________<br /><br />How often do you see and/or speak to your ex?<br />__ Never. She mysteriously disappeared after our divorce. <br />__ Never. She mysteriously disappeared before our divorce. <br />__ Never. The restraining order prevents it. <br />__ I peer through the windows when she’s not looking. <br />__ All the time. We still live together. <br />__ Other ________________________________________________________ <br /><br />Do you have children? __ Yes __ No<br />If no, would you like to have them one day? __ Yes __ No<br />Have you ever received an intentional knee to the groin? __ Yes __ No<br />If yes, would you be willing to undergo a medical examination to rule out the possibility of sterility? __ Yes __ No <br />Names, ages, and genders of your children: ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________<br />(If above lines offer insufficient space, you are not eligible for this position.)<br /><br />Do you have a penis? __ Yes __ No (Answering no will not necessarily disqualify you, provided that you can compensate for your inadequacy.)<br />How do you plan to compensate?<br />___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________<br />(Feel free to attach photographs and/or diagrams.) <br /><br />Can your body withstand long nights of sex with little or no sleep? __ Yes __ No<br /><br />Hobbies and Interests:<br />___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________<br /><br />Last movie you watched: _________________________________________________________<br />(If it starred Jackie Chan or Vin Diesel, you are disqualified from this position.)<br /><br />Favorite TV shows: ________________________________________________________<br /><br />Favorite musicians:<br />___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________<br />(If any of them are on the Top 40 Country charts, please dispose of this application immediately.)<br /><br />Last church visit ____________________ <br />Name of church ________________________<br /><br />Do you regularly donate time and/or money to charity? __ Yes __ No<br />If yes, which charitable organizations? ______________________________________________<br />If no, why not? ____________________________________________________<br />Last random act of kindness: ________________________________________<br /><br />How large is your porn collection? <br />__ Smaller than a breadbox __ Has its own room in your house <br />__ Fits neatly under your bed __ You rent a storage unit <br /><br />Do you wear socks during sex? __ Yes __ No<br />If so, do I have permission to choke you with them? __ Yes __ No<br /><br />Do you maintain a blog? __ Yes __ No<br />If yes, URL please! ________________________________________________________<br />Do you blog the details of your sexual exploits? __ Yes __ No<br />If no, why not? ________________________________________________________<br /> <br />Why are you applying for this position? ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________<br /><br />If you are chosen for the position, what will your first order of business be? ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________<br /><br />I hereby solemnly swear that I have been completely honest and forthright in my answers above. I agree to submit to any and all of the following if deemed appropriate: polygraph tests, blood tests, credit checks, criminal background checks, endurance tests, skills assessments, and reference checks. <br /><br />Signature ______________________________ <br />Date ______________________<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/6955150081357892970-221264652682149571?l=40ssingleness-bfapp.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>lisa q.http://www.blogger.com/profile/16685625884419877570noreply@blogger.com3